I created a FREE e-book for you that I'll be releasing this fall about how to restore your aging skin and what to do when it behaves badly!
It's completely FREE when you're signed up for our newsletter here.
But first, here's a sneak peak inside, What to Do When Your Skin Behaves Badly After 40...
Chapter 1: Mirror, Mirror: Stop Lying to Yourself
As Tony Robbins says, (paraphrasing) if you're going to blame someone for all the bad things in your life, you have to blame them for all the good things, too. Your skin is no different. If you blame your skin for all the breakouts and dryness, you have to thank it for protecting you from the harsh elements and shielding you from dangerous particles floating around in our atmosphere.
There are things you can avoid and things you can't, so let's focus on what we can control.
While you were born into a world where you can't control your genetics, you can control your influence on them. So regardless of whether you're predisposed to inherit a certain face shape, oilier skin, bald spots, or shorter lashes, there may be something, while not always permanent, you CAN do about it.
When I was around 19, I was feeling pretty good about myself, looking in the mirror with a friend of mine who made a comment — an innocent one, of course, about me being careful about what I ate, or else I would end up with "cottage cheese" on my legs. It sounds funny, but I had never heard anyone refer to anything on my body or anyone else's as cottage cheese. But what wasn't funny is that it created this unintentional hyper false awareness that led me to wearing jeans in 110-degree Texas weather for over a decade.
This began the downward spiral of the self-imposed 'stories" (aka lies) I told myself about my looks that didn't serve me. And because my thoughts had gone wild and my mind was behaving badly, it happened again.
In my early 20s, still not wearing shorts, I became obsessed with having a perfect little "Beverly Hills 90210 nose" for some reason. Remember when actors were the real influencers? I deeply contemplated getting surgery and was so close to actually doing it that I had the doctors and costs all lines up.
At the time, I didn't understand that this desire was stemming from insecurities of not feeling 'good enough' because of my past experiences, so none of that mattered — I was doing it. I didn't have the emotional maturity to have a fuller perspective like we do after 40.
Then I learned about something else in my 30s that changed my view on everything.
In my early 20s, I was doing hair and makeup on an independent feature film in Austin. I later found out that one of the lead actresses from the film was in a horrible freak accident. She ended up losing her leg in a popular small-town shopping center destination in Texas, and although we were not best friends, having that intimate relationship with her on that film really made me feel deeply for her. She was so young. It wasn't fair. All the things went through my mind. And then I thought about my legs. The fact that I could still use them both to get around. The fact that I'd been shaming and silencing them for almost two decades and holding them hostage in a dark camp.
Then it hit me.
Instead of telling myself a self-induced anxiety-ridden story (aka lie) about my legs that I didn't like, I'd use this new story to help me straighten up my attitude about my looks and get my mind right. Instead of looking at my dimples and criticizing myself for my aesthetic imperfections, I started saying thank you to the universe and God for letting me have these two healthy legs to stand on and to move freely with.
By this time, I'd thankfully been too busy with life and forgotten about my nose!
I'd be lying if I didn't say I didn't think about liposuction at the time, too. No shade if that's a decision you made to boost your confidence, but thank goodness those days of not wearing jeans are behind me. And I can confidently say today that while I definitely have my 'good side' (don't we all??), I'm perfectly content with the imperfect beauty that is my nose. And self-tanner costs a lot less expensive than liposuction, by the way.
Here's a little beauty fact about Megan Fox you probably didn't know. She first revealed she suffered from body dysmorphia and had "a lot of deep insecurities" in an October 2021 interview with British GQ Style. "We may look at somebody and think, 'That person's so beautiful. Their life must be so easy. ' They most likely don't feel that way about themselves," she said.
Bottom line is, whatever you're going through — you're not alone. Whatever insecurities you face, they're more common than you think. Never judge someone on the way they look; they're already doing that for you.
And yes, you can flip the script anytime to speak to yourself more kindly, the way you'd want someone else to speak to you. It's just easier said than done -- it's a practice.
Remember, your skin doesn't define you but it is a part of you, just like your personality, your sense of humor, and your heart. It's easy to get caught up in feeling like your skin issues make up your entire identity, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
Your worth isn't determined by the appearance of your skin. You are worthy, lovable, and deserving of all good things, regardless of how your skin looks.
So let's work together to overcome the obstacles, silence the self-doubt, and embrace your unique beauty.
The more you know the more you glow!
ps. I can't wait to share the entire e-book with you for FREE this fall.. make sure you're signed up to our newsletter to receive my free skincare gift to you!
pps. use code LIPMASK to receive a one-time FREE PM Lip Mask with your next order of $50+